Marriage: A Covenant of Grace

Total Time: ~3 hours
Focus: To understand the divine design, purpose, and mystery of marriage, viewing it not as a contract of performance, but as a living covenant of grace meant to be a tangible picture of the relationship between Christ and His church.

🧱 Session 1 — The Original Blueprint (60 mins)

Theme: God’s original design for marriage, established before the Fall, was one of perfect partnership, unity, and companionship, with no hint of hierarchy or strife.

📖 Reading

Genesis 2:18–25

📖 Key Passages

• Genesis 2:18:
  “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

• Genesis 2:23:
  “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

• Genesis 2:24:
  “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

• Genesis 2:25:
  “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

🔍 Word Study Suggestions

• Help meet for him / Suitable helper — Hebrew: עֵזֶר כְּנֶגְדּוֹ (ezer kenegdo)
  Ezer implies strong, necessary aid—often used for God Himself. Kenegdo means corresponding to, facing, or equal to.

• One flesh — Hebrew: בָּשָׂר אֶחָד (basar echad)
  A complete and total union—physical, spiritual, emotional, relational.

📚 Theological Framework: The Pre-Fall Ideal

Before the brokenness of sin entered the world, marriage was characterized by perfect unity, transparency (“naked and not ashamed”), and joyful partnership. There was no power struggle, no blame, no shame. This is God’s “factory setting” for the relationship, the ideal from which all other discussions of marriage must begin.

🗣️ Discussion Questions

1. God’s first recorded declaration of something being “not good” was man’s aloneness. What does this tell us about our inherent design for relationship?
2. How does the true meaning of “suitable helper” challenge common cultural ideas about the roles of men and women in marriage?
3. What do you think the state of being “naked and not ashamed” represents in a relationship? What are the things that introduce shame into our relationships today?

🧱 Session 2 — The Covenant in a Fallen World (60 mins)

Theme: In a broken world, marriage is often characterized by strife and betrayal, yet God still views it as a sacred covenant and calls His people to a standard of faithfulness.

📖 Reading

Malachi 2:13–16
Proverbs 31:10–12

📖 Key Passages

• Malachi 2:14:
  “Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.”

• Malachi 2:16:
  “For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away…”

• Proverbs 31:11:
  “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”

🔍 Word Study Suggestions

• Covenant — Hebrew: בְּרִית (berit)
  A solemn, binding agreement—more than a contract, a sworn bond of loyalty.

• Treacherously — Hebrew: בָּגַד (bagad)
  To deal faithlessly or betray a trust.

🗣️ Discussion Questions

1. Malachi describes marriage as a “covenant” with God as the witness. How does viewing marriage as a covenant, rather than a contract, change its meaning and weight?
2. The people in Malachi’s day were acting faithlessly but were blind to it (“Yet ye say, Wherefore?”). How can we become blind to our own failures within a relationship?
3. The description in Proverbs 31 highlights trust as a core component of a strong marriage. What are the practical things that build or break trust between two people?

🧱 Session 3 — The Divine Mystery (60 mins)

Theme: The New Testament reveals the ultimate purpose of marriage: to be a living, breathing picture on earth of the profound mystery of the love between Christ and His people, the Church.

📖 Reading

Ephesians 5:22–33

📖 Key Passages

• Ephesians 5:25:
  “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”

• Ephesians 5:31–32:
  “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”

📚 Theological Framework: The Gospel Picture

This passage is not primarily a list of rules for a happy marriage. It is a theological revelation. The roles within a grace-based marriage are meant to be a daily re-enactment of the Gospel story. The husband’s self-sacrificial love is a picture of Christ’s love for His people. The wife’s respectful response is a picture of the church’s love for Christ. The goal is not to perform these roles perfectly to earn favor, but to, empowered by the Spirit, live out this beautiful picture as a testament to the world of the love story we have been swept up into.

🧠 Reflection & Application

• How does the command for a husband to love his wife “as Christ loved the church” radically redefine “leadership” from one of power to one of self-sacrifice?
• The passage grounds its instruction not in cultural norms, but in the “great mystery” of the Gospel. How does this elevate the purpose of marriage beyond personal happiness to a divine testimony?
• If the primary purpose of your marriage is to be a picture of the Gospel, how might that change the way you approach conflict, forgiveness, and daily service to one another?

✝️ Final Encouragement: A Workshop for Grace

In a world of performance and conditional acceptance, a grace-based marriage is a radical testimony. It is not a union of two perfect people, but a workshop for grace between two forgiven sinners. It is a safe place to practice the “one another” commands—forgive one another, bear one another’s burdens, serve one another in love. It is the most intimate and powerful context in which to see the beauty of the Gospel made flesh, as two imperfect people learn to rest in God’s perfect, unconditional, and covenant-keeping love.